Once Upon a Cheapo
by Woe is Me
Summary: This tale is about cheap people. It involves a psychiatric witch, two lowlife parents, a bratty girl, and Prince Cheapo. It's a parody of Rapunzel. Please REVIEW!


Hey! PLEASE review my fanfic! I promise if you Review mine I'll review yours!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. They belong to the author of Rapunzel, except I think he/she is dead anyway.  
  
It was a beautiful Sunday morning in The Land of Long Long Ago.  
  
Rapunzel's mom and dad were sitting in the kitchen. The mom was pregnant with her baby daughter.  
  
You see, these people were actually awful stealing lowlifes. They were too lazy to get their lazy butts off the couch and actually buy food, so Rapunzel's dad thought, "Hey, the people next door have a vegetable garden, why don't we just snag a couple?"  
  
So Rapunzel's dad sneaked into the garden and took 15 tomatoes.  
  
What do you know, the owner of the garden was an evil old witch and she was angry when she found out the guy next door stole her tomatoes. (I mean, who wouldn't be?)  
  
But the witch was having some extreme psychiatric problems at the moment, and she blew her top when she found out about the stealing. She went out of control, and she demanded the man next door to repay her somehow.  
  
But Rapunzel's parents weren't the type of people to repay and apologize, so instead they screamed, "Here! Keep your dang tomatoes!" and hurled all the tomatoes at the witch. She was a big, red, seedy, tomatoey mess.  
  
Now the witch was unpredictable and dangerous. She waited until Rapunzel's mom had her hairy baby. Then, in the night, while the newborn baby was asleep in her cradle and the parents were snoring in their beds, the witch snatched the baby.  
  
The witch put the now crying baby on the back of a giant raven (hey I know it's random but it was in this fairy tale book I read). The mom and dad reached the window almost in time. All they heard was the witch cackling, "You steal my tomatoes, I steal your baby! We're even!"  
  
The witch put Rapunzel in a tall tower. She actually took good care of her, but when Rapunzel turned three years old the witch decided she wanted to make some more money and she left Rapunzel in the tower to take care of herself.  
  
The witch didn't know how to make the cash she wanted, but then she had a great idea. The witch decided to let Rapunzel's golden hair grow super-long and then people all over would pay to see the hair! It was genius! Plus the witch was too cheap to actually pay for a hairdresser for Rapunzel.  
  
So Rapunzel's hair grew and grew and grew. Pretty soon it reached the ground of the tower. Just like the witch had planned, tons of people came to see Rapunzel.  
  
In the fairy tale, they say that Rapunzel was oh-so-unhappy and miserable and sad in her lonely little tower. But the truth was she was enjoying the fame. She loved having people "ooh" and "ah" over her beautiful hair. And because of that Rapunzel turned into a selfish little spoiled brat.  
  
Then one day another cheapo character came to see the legendary Rapunzel's hair. He was Prince Charming, but that wasn't his real name. In this story, we will call him Prince Cheapo.  
  
So Prince Cheapo comes along and says, "Hey, I can make a lot of money on this girl's hair too, so why don't I take her? I mean, if a smelly almost- dead old witch can do it, a handsome, charming young fellow like me can too!" So in the dead of night, when the witch was asleep in her little cottage beside the tower, the prince quietly climbed up Rapunzel's hair that was flowing down to the bottom of the tower.  
  
When Prince Cheapo was at the top of the tower, in the room where the Rapunzel was slumbering, he whistled to his trusty sidekick, the raven that was introduced in the beginning of this tale. The raven took Rapunzel on his back.  
  
Suddenly the girl woke up. "AAAAAGGGGGGHH!!! HELP!!! BODYGUARDS, HELP ME!!!" she cried. Two macho men burst into the room. "Rapunzel, we'll save you!" they said. "I don't think so!" Prince Cheapo kicked them in the face.  
  
"Hit it Raven!" he said. Then the raven, Rapunzel, and Prince Cheapo flew off towards the tower that the prince had waiting for Rapunzel.  
  
Then Rapunzel was shown off and paid to see for 20 more years. Prince Cheapo and her got married, and they were the perfect couple because they were both such snot-nosed bratty idiots. Then suddenly Rapunzel fell ill with the rare Long-Hair Fever. She died that faithful day in May.  
  
There was some mourning at her death, but mostly there was rejoicing. (At her funeral people did the disco and had tons of cake.)  
  
A/N: So that was my story. What do you think? Please review! And read my other stories too! And review those too! Thanks guys! 


End file.
